Sunday 30 June 2013

In Nigeria: Money Is Never Enough






Life isn’t really about getting to a destination. It’s about how we live along the way. It’s easy to become so goal-oriented and so focused on our dreams that we overlook the simple things we should be enjoying each day. Life is a journey. There is no such thing as the finish line. Once we accomplish this dream, God will give us another. When we overcome that challenge, there will be another. There is always another mountain to climb.
If you make the mistake of living just for the destination, you will look up one day and realize you have missed out on the biggest part of life. Most of life is routine. Most of us get up every morning, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, and then do it all again.There are very few mountain tops; you graduate from school, you get married, you have a child.The high times are few and far between.
But many people live only for the mountain tops.They’re so focused on earning promotions, they work night and day.They don’t really enjoy their families.They are so stressed raising the children,they don’t enjoy their children.They are so caught up in solving daily problems, they don’t enjoy the best moments of each day.

They are focused on moving from the status of a millionaire to a billionaire. Friends,we have to slow down and enjoy the journey. Nigeria, Lagos in particular, has a way of turning a sane and calm person insane and this is happening because of corruption and the unwillingness of our leaders to change our nation.
Some spend their whole lives trying to reach a goal, only to find out it’s not what it was all cracked up to be. My friend, the real joy is in the simple things. It’s never about how elaborate the wedding is; it’s not about how big the mansion is; it’s not about your marriage to a prince or the president’s daughter. It’s never about you getting married to a guy who gives you security men to guard you at all times; the man who cannot afford a gate may end up giving you the peace you need.
I was once with a man who gave me everything material, but peace was far from me; it came with endless tears. Friends and people out there saw just wealth and a girl who had it all. But they were wrong. I got to understand the meaning of peace as an adult when that relationship came to an end. Now I can boldly say what love is and what it is not. If that little man out there gives you the life you want, please go on and enjoy life with him. That fairy tale wedding you want to have is not a guarantee that the marriage will last.
The real joy is in being with your family, wife/husband, and children, getting up early and seeing the sunrise, taking a walk through the park with your spouse - I can’t trade these for all the diamonds in this world. Of course, the goals and accomplishments bring us a sense of satisfaction,but they are only temporary. Don’t say Jackson advised you to marry a man who is jobless; he must have a source of daily income. What I am saying is that he must not be rich for you to marry him. If he has a job or business, if he has his daily source of income, please go ahead and marry him. But never make the mistake of getting married to a jobless man. If you must marry him, please wait and help him to get a job first before you marry him. Frustration will always set in if you marry a man who does not leave home in the morning to work. No matter the extent of your love for him, please have it in mind that “reality time” will come.
Back to the main issue; slow down and enjoy the journey right now.Take time for the people God has put in your life.They won’t always be there. The Holy Bible in James 4:14 says,”our lives are like a mist.” We are here for a moment and then we are gone. People lost their loved ones yesterday, and today they are gone forever.I am sure so many are in regrets right now because they didn’t give them the most important thing they needed - time.
No matter how much you love me, I don’t need your money and love if I won’t have your time. Your children will get all the money they need from you today; they won’t be with you tomorrow because you denied them the most important thing every child needs to grow well - your time and love. Build a cathedral today, your children will tear it down with their two hands tomorrow if you fail to build them.
You can give all the cheque books to your wife or girlfriend with the right to make withdrawals at will; she will use it to take care of that small boy out there, possibly your security man or steward who tells her she looks good and beautiful whenever she wears a new hairstyle. You can use your money to employ the best chef in town and have him or her serve your husband like a duke; he will go to sleep with the house help or secretary who notices that his shoes are dusty and should be cleaned.
Your home (children and spouse) remains your number one ministry. Financial stress in the world hasn’t helped us. Mothers used to sit back at home and take care of the children. But we now have a society where a new baby is deprived of that opportunity to bond with the mother; it pains my heart. We now live in a world where family time is a no-no. Families no longer eat dinner together, they no longer watch movies together. Children go to bed before parents come home and parents leave home before children wake up in the morning. This is the main reason for the loss of family values. Something has to be done; we must find a way around it.
Nigerians are even beginning to send their aged parents to care homes; this is not Nigerian. Your parents took care of you from when you were born until you became an adult and now that you have to take care of them, you go to dump them in a care home. I don’t know about Islam, but the Holy Bible that I read tells me that our aged parents are our pride. Are you aware that the greatest joy of your aged parent is to be around his/her children and grandchildren? You live in a big house and have stewards attending to you; why can’t you keep your mother or father in your big house around his/her grandchildren? Having their grandchildren around adds years to their life.
Never make the mistake of allowing money take over the place of human beings in your life. You can throw money at your wife; the man who shows affection has her heart. You can throw money at your children and send them to the best schools in the world; that house help who knows how they eat and sleep could mean the whole world to them. Your husband does not need just a woman at the peak of her career; he needs a woman who even when she is at the zenith of her career knows that her home and her relationship with husband, children, and relations are more important than anything else.
Blessed is that man or woman who will never trade his or her family on the altar of mammon.
 

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